


Promises

by fancyh



Series: All That Will Remain [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 16:21:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14288778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyh/pseuds/fancyh
Summary: Bucky and Becca, and the promises they made.*Tie-in to Ch. 26





	Promises

"You promise?" Becca asked, voice small and tremulous as she hiccuped, small hands scrubbing at her face.

Bucky nodded, blue eyes wide in his round face, a perfect mirror of hers. "I promise, Becs. I ain't gonna leave you. Ma says I'm your big brother, so I gotta look out for ya." 

Becca sniffled, nodding. "Okay." She let Bucky pull her to her feet, brushing the dirt off her dress. 

***

"Bucky?" Becca asked.

Bucky sniffled, tears leaking from his eyes as he clutched his swollen ankle. Becca rushed to put her arm under him, helping him hobble in the direction of home.

"Promise you won't tell anyone I cried?" Bucky mumbled. "Johnny says boys who cry are queer."

"That's stupid," Becca scoffed. "But I promise. I'm your sister," she said proudly. "I look out for you, too."

***

"You promise?" Becca yelped, clinging onto the branch.

Bucky nodded, arms outstretched beneath her. "I promise I'll catch you, Becs. Just trust me."

Becca exhaled and let go. Bucky caught her.

***

"Bucky!" Becca screeched.

Bucky doubled over with laughter, Becca's lip twitching before she finally gave in.

"I can't believe you just did that," she gasped. "Ma would kill you if she knew."

"Promise you won't tell her?" Bucky asked.

Becca rolled her eyes. "Of course. What are sisters for?"

***

"You promise?" Becca whispered.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yes Becs, I promise not to tell anyone. Now spill."

Becca punched him softly in the arm. "Okay, so there's this guy..."

***

"Buckyyy! Spill," Becca whined, sprawled next to Bucky on the bed. Bucky sighed, pressing his face into the mattress before flipping over onto his back.

"You promise not to tell?" he asked worriedly. "Or judge?"

"Of course. I'm your sister. Now come on, tell me," she needled. "What's bothering you?"

"I think I'm in love with Steve," Bucky mumbled in a rush.

Becca turned to him and stared. "Yes, and?"

It was Bucky's turn to stare incredulously. "I'm in love with Steve. Like, for real. In a queer way. I'm queer."

Becca raised an eyebrow. "Yes, and?"

Bucky stared for a moment before bursting out laughing, Becca joining in.

"Thanks, Bec," Bucky said quietly.

She gave him a gentle shove. "What are sisters for?"

***

"You promise me, James Buchanan Barnes," Becca demanded. "You promise me you'll come home." 

Bucky looked down at her, uniform neatly pressed and cap set at a jaunty angle on his head. "I promise, Becs," he said, wrapping her in another hug. He turned and stepped onto the train, waving as it began to move. The whole family waved back, Ma dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief and Nora's lip quivering. Becca jogged alongside the train, Bucky grinning at her. Something tightened in his eyes at the last minute, some sense that this might be the last time he saw her.

"I love you!" he yelled, mouth forming the words clearly but inaudible over the noise of the train.

Becca felt her throat close up. "I love you too!" she tried to shout, but she reached the end of the platform and the train sped onwards, Bucky growing further and further away. She came to a halt, heart heavy. "I promise," she whispered to herself, no one to hear her but empty air.

***

She read his letters eagerly, running her fingers over the lines of slanted writing. 

_***_

_War is ~~hell~~ different than I thought,_  he wrote. _I'm doing okay though. Found a bunch of great guys in my division and we get along swell. Don't know when this will get to you. Sitting in the trenches right now, and there's bombs every so often. It's ~~terrifying~~ loud. Hope you're doing alright. Miss you. I wrote Steve a letter but if he doesn't get it tell him I'm okay._

_***_

_Steve is Captain America,_ he wrote. _He rescued me ~~from~~ and the rest of my division. _ Rescued him from what, Becca wondered. Was that why she hadn't heard from him in a month? He never said.  _We're making an elite team to take out Hydra. Promise I'm doin alright._

_***_

_They've started calling us the Howling Commandos,_ he wrote.  _We're doin' just great, beatin the shit outta Nazis._  Becca wondered if he was as great as he said. His writing was stilted, glossing over things.  _You'd love Dugan, man's gotta sense of humor like no one else. Promise I'm doin alright. ~~I just wanna come home~~ Hope all is well. Miss you._

***

 _Promise me, Becs,_ he wrote.  _Promise me you'll make something of yourself. ~~I don't think I'm gonna make it~~  I miss you. Wish I could see you again, ~~one more time.~~ It's pretty cold here, I hope you're warm enough back home. Christmas is in a few weeks, can't believe it's my second year missing the Barnes family Christmas. Dum Dum managed to steal a few cigars and a bottle of scotch from a Hydra outpost, so we're saving those to celebrate. Not the same, but it's something. Things are the same here, steadily defeating Hydra. Got an important mission in a few days, I'll write you after. Promise. Love you Becs._

_Your big brother, always,_

_Bucky_

***

Becca watched as her Ma opened the door and stilled. She felt an incomprehensible dread in her gut, something pulling her towards the entryway. She moved, and suddenly the doorway became visible as her stomach dropped and a numbness took over. Men in military uniforms with somber faces spoke in hushed tones, and she watched as if from a vast distance as her Ma crumpled, face anguished as she clutched her heart with one hand, a small sound of grief emitting from her throat. Becca stood frozen as Andrea and Nora rushed past, comprehension and horror dawning on their faces as they took in the scene. Time seemed to slow and voices rushed around her as she stood unmoving, her heart clenching in agony.  _No,_ she thought.  _It can't be real. This can't be real. Not him. Not Bucky. He promised._

And then her mother was sweeping her up in a hug and sobbing, and Becca knew it was real, that he was gone. The tears came, hot and unrelenting, and she felt her heart shatter into pieces as she wept into her mother's embrace.

***

They buried an empty coffin. Dozens of people showed up, people she had no idea knew Bucky, and who he had helped or given a kind word to, or a smile, and who had fallen in love with him because it was impossible not to love the bright soul that was Bucky Barnes. Nora gripped Becca's hand so tightly it hurt, trembling with silent sobs, and Andrea's face was a mask of pain. Tears streamed from her Ma's eyes as she accepted the folded flag. Taps played hauntingly as snowflakes drifted from the sky, only a few days left until Christmas. Less than three months until Bucky's twenty-eighth birthday. He would remain twenty-seven forever, twenty-six in Becca's memory.

***

A few months later, just after Bucky's birthday, the newspapers said that Captain America had disappeared in a plane into the Arctic, presumed dead. There was no family to inform, no one and everyone to mourn. Becca folded the newspaper again, an empty feeling inside her. She was not surprised. Where Bucky went, Steve followed. She hoped they could finally be together, wherever they were now.

***

The war was over. It was May 1945, and the war was over in Europe. It had been almost five months since Bucky died, two months since Steve disappeared. People celebrated in the streets, joyful and carefree, but the Barnes's stayed inside, silent and still. Mourning. All of Brooklyn held a vigil for their lost heroes. The nation could have Captain America, but Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were theirs. They were family. And they were gone.

***

They gave them a memorial in Arlington after the war, two graves side by side. Both were empty, and Becca never went. Bucky's grave was in a small plot in Brooklyn to her. She had buried Steve's old pocket watch from his dad in the soft earth below Bucky's headstone. It was the best she could give him. They deserved to be together the way they never could in life.

***

Her Ma died on a rainy day in 1946, never the same after Bucky's death. She slipped away with something like peace on her face, hand held tightly in Becca's. Pa followed her within the year, eyes filled with sorrow. 

"This is yours now," he said, handing her the folded flag. "He would want you to have this."

Her eyes pricked with tears as she accepted the flag, holding it close.

"I'm sorry," her father rasped, clutching her hand with weak fingers. "I'm sorry."

Becca understood.

***

She was packing up the last of her stuff, finally selling the house she'd grown up in. She was heading off to continue school and maybe one day become a lawyer, and Andrea and Nora were soon to be married.  _Promise me you'll make something of yourself,_ Bucky had written. She'd never broken a promise to him.

She found an old hair ribbon in her desk, worn and faded with time. The ghost of a memory surfaced, Bucky's fingers deft and sure as he did her hair, tying it with her favorite ribbon.

 _Do I look good?_ she had asked.

 _You look beautiful,_ he'd replied.

_Promise?_

_Promise._

***

She met Jonathan Proctor on a warm spring day in 1950 and they were married one year later. There was no one to walk her down the aisle. Her sisters hugged her tight and helped her with her dress, but she looked out into the pews and saw empty space where her parents would have sat, an empty space in her heart where Bucky used to be. She smiled, and kissed her new husband, and tried to ignore the ache in her chest as she became Rebecca Barnes-Proctor. She had insisted on keeping her last name, the only person left who still did.

***

Elizabeth Barnes-Proctor was born on August 15, 1952. She had Becca's dark hair and button nose and Jonathan's hazel eyes, and a broad smile that split her chubby cheeks. Her sisters took turns holding her and cooing, and Becca almost expected to see Bucky next to them, grinning down at her proudly, but when she looked up she saw only empty space.

***

Benjamin Barnes-Proctor was born on December 1, 1954. He had Jonathan's sandy hair, but when he opened his eyes they were a familiar shade of blue-grey that Becca hadn't seen in ten years outside of her mirror. Elizabeth bounced excitedly at the first glimpse of her baby brother, her bright grin stirring distant childhood memories of another grin on a boyish face, eyes already adoring and protective.

***

"You promise, ma?" Lizzie asked, and Becca felt the familiar pang of grief, lessened by time. 

"I promise," she said softly, squeezing her teenaged daughter's hand. "There's nothing you could tell me that could make me love you any less."

Lizzie took a deep breath, squeezing back. "Ma, I like girls," she said. "I'm gay."

Becca smiled, and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear gently. "I know sweetheart. I'm glad you told me."

"You're not-you're not disappointed?"

Becca shook her head. "Of course not. I love you. There's nothing wrong with who you are." She squeezed her hand tightly, meeting her eyes seriously. "I want you to know that. Whatever anyone says, there's nothing wrong with you. You deserve to be happy."

Lizzie's eyes filled with tears and she rocked forward, wrapping her arms around Becca. "Thank you," she said, voice muffled by her shirt. 

"What are mothers for?" Becca said, voice cracking. She rubbed a hand against Lizzie's back. "You want to know something I've never told anyone else?"

Lizzie pulled back, nodding.

"I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone, but I think he would want me to tell you. You know your Uncle Bucky, and how he was friends with Steve Rogers?"

Lizzie nodded.

The corner of Becca's mouth quirked up. "They weren't friends."

Lizzie eyes widened as comprehension dawned. "You mean- Uncle Bucky, and- and  _Captain America_ were gay?"

Becca smiled wistfully. "They were in love. They would have followed each other to the ends of the earth." She swallowed, looking down. "And they did."

 _Promise me you'll look after Steve when I'm gone,_ Bucky had said.  _Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid._

 _I promise,_ Becca had said. But there was no force on earth that could have kept Steve Rogers away from Bucky Barnes. Not even death.

***

Andrea was hit by a drunk driver on September 20, 1988, two weeks after her sixty-fifth birthday. Nora held her hand tightly at the funeral, for the fourth time. Andrea's children made beautiful speeches, and Becca leaned into Nora's embrace as the original Barnes family dwindled to two.

***

Nora, her precious baby sister, died of cancer on November 2, 2005, aged 80. Becca gripped her husband's hand and felt another piece of her heart crumble into ash.

***

A face hovered above her in the bed, dark hair and blue-grey eyes in a round face that made Becca's heart still.

"Bucky?" she breathed.

"No, Nana B. It's James," the figure replied, face morphing into a frown. Becca's vision cleared and she saw her grandson looking down on her worriedly. 

 _His name is James,_ Benjamin had said.  _James Buchanan Barnes-Proctor._

Tears had slipped from her eyes as she held the tiny form, one small fist latching onto her finger.  _Hello James,_ she had said.  _It's a pleasure to meet you._ At thirty he was the spitting image of Bucky, but older now than Bucky had even been. 

She reached over and patted his hand with shaking fingers. "Oh," she rasped. "Silly me." She felt her strength fading, every breath an effort.

James held her hand and squeezed softly. "It's alright." He smiled, so familiar and yet so different. "I'm here."

Becca blinked, and she felt tears behind her eyes. She gripped James' hand with the last of her strength, something important pushing at her but thoughts muddled and mind hazy.

"He-he promised," she whispered. She met James' eyes, the blue-grey depths a perfect mirror of hers. "He promised."

As her vision faded, she could almost imagine it was Bucky beside her, young and vibrant as he had been that summer he boarded the train. He would fall from another train a year and a half later, in winter, halfway around the world. He would take half of her heart with him. Her grip loosened as blackness rushed up to meet her, a final sigh emitting from parted lips and something like peace washing over her. She was going home.

_You promise me you'll come home._

_I promise,_ Bucky had said. It was the only promise he'd ever broken. 

 


End file.
